Hollywood Happy Hour



	Nelson Aspen


	Bonnie Gillespie


	Kristyn Burtt



*News, Schmooze, Reviews, and Interviews in Hollywood!*



We are fortunate to have the insider info available only to someone as charming and articulate as Kris Burtt. Fair warning: There's some SPOILER Stuff in here. Have fun--and enjoy our "Couch Potato Corner---Get Zieringed!"

Uh-oh spuds, a very dangerous thing happened while I was in New York.... No, I wasn't separated from a full menu of cable channels (although my husband, TiVo couldn't make the trip). I became a bicoastal member of the Museum for Television and Radio. My plan was to go shopping in midtown, but the rainy weather altered my course of action for a new pair of flip flops to a membership filled with a library of all of my favorite shows: Family Ties, Welcome Back, Kotter, and yes, Beverly Hills, 90210. With the inspiration to watch all that is the Brenda years, I now introduce a new term I learned last week--"Ziering". I hear all of you couch potatoes yelling at me, "Hello, that's the actor who played Steve Sanders, you big dork!" Alas, I did not lose my pop culture mind in a pink cupcake at the West Village's Magnolia Bakery (figure that one out, TV addicts, I know you are savvy enough to decode the show I am talking about). I am talking about the verb "to Ziering". It is a verb that pops right into action when a long-running show disappears from the airwaves. There is always one actor that just vanishes altogether, never to be seen again on the old boob tube. Perhaps, they become a Jeopardy question ("I'll take 'Actors who Ziering' for $100, Alex") or a fond memory on one of the I Love this decade clip shows on VH-1 or even a roommate on The Surreal Life. You know when People magazine does a "Where are they Now?" feature on your career... oh boy, have you Zieringed! With Sex and the City leaving the airwaves this year and the feature film fiasco that is Kim Catrall... well, she will Ziering soon unless the Porky's franchise is being revived.

Ah, but I digress. I took my brand spanking new membership and watched a Q&A seminar from 1992 with the cast of 90210. All of those fresh-faced high school students in their 20s and 30s were there and Momma Walsh wore eyeglasses as big as her head. I didn't know Mr. Magoo glasses were the trend in the '90s. I think I enjoyed watching all of the actors make snarky comments about the audience members and Jason Priestly even commented that he was "so hungry" to Gabrielle Carteris. Um, hello, ever been on a film set? You are mic'd!! The most annoying actor up there was Luke Perry. Remember the 90210 reunion special last year where Luke played a hyper "look at me, look at me" actor from the show? Oh, guess that wasn't an act. He hasn't changed in over a decade. He even took a whiff of his smelly armpit while James Eckhouse AKA Papa Walsh was speaking. Why, you ask? Because he could. (By the way, I love that answer, Bill Clinton.) While armpit sniffing is an odd career choice, I do see a future as a Degree Deodorant spokesperson if the ad execs could get their hands on that tape. In the world according to Brenda in 1992, Shannen was sporting a honkin' engagement ring. I was trying to hit my old pop culture archives... was it a Judd Nelson engagement? Ashley Hamilton? Or that Max Factor heir? Exhausted, spuds? Who can keep up with the revolving diamond ring? Remember, her last ex-husband made a famous flick with Paris Hilton... yep, you know what film I am talking about. If not, my brother would be happy to provide you with the link. Other issues facing the 90210-ers: college. Aaron Spelling toyed with the idea of moving the kids from their junior year of high school to college. Guess they were all MENSA members. Uh, good call on that one. Seems FOX thought it would make a better companion show to the almost-launched Melrose Place. Now in 1992, Tori had also been accepted to USC where she planned to study writing after the show ended its run. Fourteen years later, we are still waiting for that degree. I am sure USC is holding her spot in the dorms while she recovers from her $1700 a head wedding. And finally, Aaron Spelling mentioned that he loves to get letters from aspiring writers and film students and that he responds to all of his mail. Darn, I wish I knew that six weeks ago! I know I would have scored an invite to that massive wedding on the Spelling estate and a quick tour of their 100-room shack. Candy, you must show me your wrapping room. Oh, and I do adore your doll collection. Aaron, let's go bowling in the East Wing. Claudia, Julia, Baby Owen, Sarah... stop the presses. Bailey Salinger is back on television this season. Yep, Mr. Hottie, Scott Wolf and his dimples will be gracing the WB's Everwood. No worries about him Ziering anytime soon since this is one of the hottest shows on the WB. Bai (not a typo, spuds, everyone on that show had a nickname... Ow, Claud, etc.) has been very busy marrying Kelly Limp this summer. Who is Kelly Limp? Well, none other than a former Real World participant in the New Orleans season. Can't escape those pesky reality shows, Scooby. And speaking of reality, I promise this will be super short. FOX is launching its own reality NETWORK. Not a new show, a new NETWORK. I wanted to carefully spell that out for you. Tentatively called the FOX Reality Channel (remember reality isn't very original or creative, so why should the network's name be original or creative?), they expect to launch the network sometime in 2005. This network will be joining the two other reality networks that are expected to launch: Reality TV and Reality Central. So do me a favor, spuds, let's stop watching these shows. Actors, stop participating in these shows. Let's get some real original programming on TV. Maybe I could get this on the ballot in November, I will even wear my "Gone Voting" shirt to the polls. I promise you. Trivia 101... which network is doing original programming without any reality shows on their roster? The Hallmark Channel, so get out your hankies and support those weepy romantic tragedies with torn apart lovers who are destined to be together by the final commercial break. Notes from the Cable Preview for the fall season, let's see how many predictions from the TV Genie will come true: 1. Growing Up Gotti on A&E will be the new Osbournes. Who knew that Mafia was the new pink, which is the new black? 2. Watch out, actors, AMC is trying to fool you, not just regular people now. They are unleashing Film Fakers, where actors think they are making a film called Croc Park. In reality, oops, they are part of a reality show, but they just don't know it. Sucks for them. 3. Most creative show--and I cannot believe I am going to even say it--is on the Cartoon Network: Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Ever wonder where your imaginary friend from your childhood went? He went into the foster care system and became a cartoon character. Do watch, maybe you can become a foster parent. 4. After watching the Cartoon Network preview, I became homesick for Fraggle Rock. Reruns requested, please. TV Land must work on that one... "down at Fraggle Rock" (clap, clap)! Doesn't that make you happy? Some passing thoughts for you to ponder... not one of you cared to guess or ask which Bachelor had bedded the most women in their season. Should I be offended or should I be happy that you don't care? ABC wants to unleash two Bachelors for the new season. Two on one show! Wow, they really want to increase the odds that these couples will break up two weeks after the season finale.... Sex and the City on TBS is kind of lame. It is like a training bra for the real HBO series--of course, I still TiVo that puppy every week.... I am happy to announce that I have a new TV boyfriend, Topher Grace, of That '70s Show. I have a weakness for geeks, always have and hell, my husband, TiVo, doesn't even mind if I bring him into my living room every week. What a great relationship! ...If you are looking for a new show to add to your life, try Rescue Me on F/X. With Denis Leary and Nip/Tuck on their roster, I crown them the new HBO of original programming.... Omarosa is at every event these days. I just saw her this weekend in a "celebrity" volleyball tournament where the crowd booed her. She is one of those that will even attend the opening of an envelope.... A random Olympic bit of trivia since the games start soon on NBC and every other channel they own: (Yay, say all the Olympic geeks!) Los Angeles and Tehran were the only two cities to bid on the 1984 Olympics. I just can't imagine Mary Lou Retton being the pixie of the Tehran Olympics. Call me crazy.... And my final thought of the day: our darling Donna AKA Tori Spelling got married this month. She walked down the aisle to the beloved "Theme from Ice Castles". This proves to me that you can have tons of money, but not a whole lot of taste. "Please, don't let this feeling end" and no angry emails from Robby Benson fans. He should be off your bedroom walls by now. (But here is the website if you must.) Until next month, taters, this Olympic geek is outta here.

If you want to comment, criticize, or commend me, shoot me an email. I accept all news about the Olympics, my boyfriend Topher, and my husband TiVo. I will reject all that is Republican. Register to vote!

Looking for earlier versions of Couch Potato Corner? Well, they're all archived right here!





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